Finally got ahold of the surgeons office to reschedule my appt that the doc cancelled yesterday... they cant get me in for... what did I say... 4 weeks. So they are going to have the nurse look and see where they can squeeze me in and call me back. Are you freaking serious???? Of course we know it will be scheduled for 2:00 on the 6th... an hour after my RAI treatment... LoL! Lord please give me strength. I truely running thin.
Here I sit at midnight... have to be AT the soccer field with DS6 at 8:30am. Casey is NOT a morning person and at this point I think I'd probably rather be sleeping too. Well, I told DH since he's getting up early Sunday to take DS17 to a Bengals/Panthers game... he could just sleep in tomorrow with the baby and catch up on sleep. Me and DD14 will take Casey to his game. Well I guess what he heard was.... Go ahead honey why dont you go ahead and go out and have a few beers..... Geez... hello! So, here I am taking care of everything as usual.... I know at first glance it might seem like I'm just depressed from lack of hormone, but no really, I need a break!!! Times like this make me very angry that I am dealing with this cancer bull!! I mean what in the hell did I do to deserve this cancerous blow while feeling so alone. Its bad enough I have no family here anywhere close to me. Its bad enough I have not made the initiative to make friends here. I have no one here. And I just feel like I'm in this big storm out in the middle of the Antartic with no freaking crew! Jesus I really need some relief here!! I know... its time to make the effort and commitment and find a church family.
On a positive note, I have been really good about my diet. And it really has not been that difficult. Maybe my will power is stepping up for once knowing the importance. I ordered pizza for everyone last night... and didnt touch a pepperoni one! And tonight we went to McD to let kids get ice cream and play. No ice cream, no fries, and Lord help me, no Frappe! But, I am getting tired of my no bake cookie oatmeal. I'm going to have to go to grocery for some new breakfast. My dinner tonight was a big plate of my bilati rice with mixed veggies... asparagus, broccoli, peppers, onions, and it was very good. I never had that type of rice before, and I really like it. I put alot of salt, pepper, and a bit of paprika in it... but would have LOVED to have just a few squirts of soy sauce!!! But, so far so good. And if you are discouraged about this diet... just know this... if I can do it... SO CAN YOU!! (of course I'm curious to see what I"m saying 5 more days from now! LoL!!
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