I am an emotional mess ... I wanted a family picture over the weekend before I got my surgery. One last picture without looking like Frankenstein. Well, it didnt happen, and no one helped me make it happen. I just dont understand why it seems as though no one ever puts effort into anything for ME. Something that was so important to me.... I cant really remember the last time that I specifically asked my family for anything... I told them I really needed a family picture over the weekend. But, I didnt make the appointment at a convenient time for everyone... and no one went out of their way to help me make it happen.
So, I guess we have one last chance Monday night right??? WRONG! Not many picture places are open past 6:00pm on Mondays for some reason, and the couple I found that were, had no openings. So, I freaked out on everyone. I never ask my family for anything so specifically and yet apparently it doesnt matter. I cried for hours.... I was so hurt and scared and pissed off! Here I was 12 hours from having my throat slashed and my husband did not make this happen for me. WTF! This did not put me into a great place.... and certainly not into a great place to get my body ready for surgery in the morning.
Why couldnt I just let this go? I needed to be relaxed and give my body the best chance to go into surgery in the morning. I needed to rest. But instead my hyper insane head just wanted to cry. And of course that just made everyone push me away more. So, I took my night before shower as instructed and slept on the couch alone.... crying till about 2am.
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